Ok, so word to the wise, here's a mathematical equation for you:
Lyme Disease + Stress + One Meal a Day + No Meds = Jitters
My personal life has swan dived into mental chaos with what's going on around me. And this week, it's manifesting in jitters. It feels like I've taken an energy pill with coffee and hooked an IV to pump sugar directly into my bloodstream. And it comes from out of nowhere. It's a new sensation. Kind of scary. Feels like I'm going to keel over, everything feels so fast.
So, with my messed up math equation, one could wonder, why no meds? Simple. I can't eat. Even today, I didn't want lunch, but I couldn't stay at my desk another second. I didn't have breakfast, just 2 cups of tea. And I thought about going somewhere to eat, but I knew I would eat it and waste it, so I should just save my money. So I went home for lunch and cleaned out the sink in hopes a little housework would stir up an appetite. Nope. So I force ate a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Such a no no. Why no green smoothie? My stomach doesn't want it. Frankly, it wants nothing at all. And my brain is trying to let the stomach know it has to keep down or want something. The stomach is stubborn. Which is a shame, since we were such buddies and all against the Lyme system. Down with no sugar! Up with meat! Resist the weird veggies! Now, it resists everything. Last week, I tried to tempt it with my soul food place that I love with the irresistible fried fish. I ate one piece of fried fish and the two sides. That was last Thursday. I didn't eat the rest of my fish and I wasted it. Wasted it!!! My brain is so frustrated!
I did the green smoothies and meds, well, I tried. And I lasted 2 days. With the meds. I did about a week of the smoothies and now, I can't do it.
I'm beyond stressed. And I get optimistic that I'll beat this thing and be done with it all, but I'm crashing and burning under the weight of the stress. You would think it would result in weight loss. It doesn't. But I'm not even on that kick right now. I just want to enjoy food. I usually would go to my two trusted friends in stress crises like these, Ben and Jerry, with their Dublin Mudslides and Cheesecake and whatnot. But I don't want them. Or any other sugar. If I didn't remind myself to eat once a day, I wouldn't eat at all. And when I do feel hungry, I feel like a kid in a candy store, overwhelmed and want everything with not one clear decision on the horizon. By the time I settle on what to eat, the hungry feeling has passed and then I could care less on what I picked.
An example. This morning, I was hungry (hooray!). I was down for some Panera Bread because it was something I wanted to eat. I waited an hour because I was in the middle of doing work. But after that hour was over, the good feelings for Panera was gone. It didn't even surface when I left the parking lot for lunch.
I'm still positive that Lyme will not survive in my body. I'm even more positive I'll get on board with the program. And I'm positive that my appetite will return and the stress levels will decrease.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Lyme Girl = Eeyore?
My husband read my blog and thought there's no optimism at all. Just a series of aches and pains.
I was a little hurt, but it went away quickly because each is entitled to their own opinion. Here's how I view my blog:
What's more encouraging, to read the aches and pains or to read the aches and pains with the hope of something better around the corner? I know I blog about what goes on in my Lyme world, but at the end of the day, I truly believe that each encounter, each symptom, each pill, will yield to something better. Like being done with the disease once and for all. Or even some small change, will yield to less pain or one less symptom. And laughing at myself because I don't take myself seriously at all. And after dealing with Lyme before, you don't have the option, at least in my mind, to take yourself seriously.
I know the blog has few visitors in traffic, but just curious, is the blog a downer?
I was a little hurt, but it went away quickly because each is entitled to their own opinion. Here's how I view my blog:
What's more encouraging, to read the aches and pains or to read the aches and pains with the hope of something better around the corner? I know I blog about what goes on in my Lyme world, but at the end of the day, I truly believe that each encounter, each symptom, each pill, will yield to something better. Like being done with the disease once and for all. Or even some small change, will yield to less pain or one less symptom. And laughing at myself because I don't take myself seriously at all. And after dealing with Lyme before, you don't have the option, at least in my mind, to take yourself seriously.
I know the blog has few visitors in traffic, but just curious, is the blog a downer?
Day 2
And so far, I love it. The green smoothie bit, I mean. This morning's concoction...sorry, smoothie
Carrots
Strawberries
Mangoes
Blueberry Pomegranate juice
4 large handfuls of Trader Joe's Southern Greens Mix (Mustard, Turnip, Collards, Spinach)
A dash of water (the fruits were frozen, so they needed a lil extra help)
And before you say gross, this is what my body spoke to me after my high intensity interval training on the stationary bike at the gym. I opened the freezer and let my body dictate what it needed. Including the greens. Let me tell you, this has been the yummiest smoothie yet. Each time I feel my energy flagging, I take a swig of this stuff and it keeps my energy up. Who could ask for anything more?
Sleep. I ask for more sleep. Even after my nap yesterday, which was delightful because I felt rested, I still wanted to go to bed at 9:30. That would be the Lyme acting out. And I couldn't sleep a wink either once I got to bed. So tonight, if I remember, which I hope I do, I need to drink a nice cup of tea mixed with skullcap. It's an herb that helps with sleep. And when I use it, I'm out like a light with none of the groggy aftereffects like a Advil PM. I love Advil PM because it takes away pain and lets me sleep. But when it's time to wake up in the morning, I feel like I have cotton in my brain. And I like sleeping, I dream in color with a nice plot with a firm beginning, middle, and end. I miss that because my Lyme brain dream state acts like a bored teenager, flipping from station to station just when the exciting bit is about to come up, if they had waited a second longer. And I wake up every time the dream changes.
Overall, I feel good! This morning was a lot:
I prayed
Went to the gym (and no, I don't pray to any fitness gods on the way to or at the gym)
Came home and made my smoothie (and got the thumbs up from the baby that it was good)
Got the baby's clothes for the day
Washed out mayonnaise from the older girls' hair (to restore moisture after swimming yesterday)
Took my shower
Styled the older girls' hair
Made sure everyone had a lunch
Drove to daycare, dropped the girls off
Drove to work
By the time I came to work, I felt I already worked a half day before 9 am.
Carrots
Strawberries
Mangoes
Blueberry Pomegranate juice
4 large handfuls of Trader Joe's Southern Greens Mix (Mustard, Turnip, Collards, Spinach)
A dash of water (the fruits were frozen, so they needed a lil extra help)
And before you say gross, this is what my body spoke to me after my high intensity interval training on the stationary bike at the gym. I opened the freezer and let my body dictate what it needed. Including the greens. Let me tell you, this has been the yummiest smoothie yet. Each time I feel my energy flagging, I take a swig of this stuff and it keeps my energy up. Who could ask for anything more?
Sleep. I ask for more sleep. Even after my nap yesterday, which was delightful because I felt rested, I still wanted to go to bed at 9:30. That would be the Lyme acting out. And I couldn't sleep a wink either once I got to bed. So tonight, if I remember, which I hope I do, I need to drink a nice cup of tea mixed with skullcap. It's an herb that helps with sleep. And when I use it, I'm out like a light with none of the groggy aftereffects like a Advil PM. I love Advil PM because it takes away pain and lets me sleep. But when it's time to wake up in the morning, I feel like I have cotton in my brain. And I like sleeping, I dream in color with a nice plot with a firm beginning, middle, and end. I miss that because my Lyme brain dream state acts like a bored teenager, flipping from station to station just when the exciting bit is about to come up, if they had waited a second longer. And I wake up every time the dream changes.
Overall, I feel good! This morning was a lot:
I prayed
Went to the gym (and no, I don't pray to any fitness gods on the way to or at the gym)
Came home and made my smoothie (and got the thumbs up from the baby that it was good)
Got the baby's clothes for the day
Washed out mayonnaise from the older girls' hair (to restore moisture after swimming yesterday)
Took my shower
Styled the older girls' hair
Made sure everyone had a lunch
Drove to daycare, dropped the girls off
Drove to work
By the time I came to work, I felt I already worked a half day before 9 am.
Monday, September 5, 2011
New Approach
So a month has gone by. A month of personal chaos. Nothing that can't be overcome. But still. It put a damper on my mission to health and lyme-free happiness.
So, each day is a new day, right? I buy that. So today is the new day of my new mission. Green Smoothies.
Yes poppets, instead of trying new ways to eat veggies, and subconsciously sabotaging them by letting them rot in my fridge, I'm going to eat green smoothies for phase 1. Why green smoothies? Aren't the veggies for the smoothies still going to rot in my fridge? Not quite.
I've had green smoothies from time to time and I love it. It's the easiest GED way to eat your vegetables. And the vegetables that count, like kale, arugula, spinach, dandelion, etc. Not the starchy kind. Mind you, I can tolerate the starchy vegetables. Tolerate being the operative word. Every so often. This Lyme Disease Diet, there are lots of vegetables. And I tried phase 1. I really did. But it wasn't for me. Green smoothies are.
For one, the preparation is simple. For example, fruit, check. Kale, check. Purified water, check. Blend. Enjoy. And it's very filling. Just a green smoothie and eggs (cooked in ghee) is filling and there's little room for else except water. Just like you're supposed to.
And there's motivation. My weight.
Let me rewind to the beginning of August. Had the bad news and my stressed kicked into high gear. I barely ate. Which you would think would cause the weight to go down. Nope. Because I barely ate, my body held on to every single calorie for dear life. I didn't exercise either. So now it's September and I have a wedding to go to at the end of this month. I have a gorgeous vintage dress, I think I mentioned it earlier in my blog. And I want to wear it the way I'm supposed to, which means vintage shapewear. I went Googling and found that people who eat nothing but green smoothies and proper protein lose lots of weight. Add to this Callanetics, people look fabulous in weeks instead of months. It also helps that I found in my travels people do outstanding when they eat green smoothies while diagnosed with Lyme. The symptoms ease and practically disappear. My Lyme symptoms have been creeping back. They were so considerate during my time of need and stress that I didn't have nearly a fifth of what I had in July. But as soon as the stress levels started dropping off, the symptoms started creeping back. The neck pain, the exhaustion. The lack of sleep. Which by the way, doesn't help when you're already exhausted.
So, here I am, my green smoothie today is kale, banana, and blueberry pomegranate juice. Complemented with 2 farm fresh eggs cooked in ghee. It's very yummy. My one year old drank my smoothie and kept saying it was yummy and licking her mouth. Her breath smells like kale, which I find hilarious, until I realize that now drinking it, my breath smells like kale. Oh well.
Since it's Labor Day and I literally did not sleep last night, I think I'm going to indulge in a nap. I have a class online that I need to get cracking on and some cleaning to do before the girls come back from their grandmother's. But rest, rest seems to be big on my mental agenda. And it started talking after I drank the smoothie. Maybe the smoothie speaks health and wisdom as you drink it. If so, rock on.
Oh, and on the subject of meds, I'm debating taking them. Sounds nonsensical because I have a bacteria, so take an antibiotic. Frankly speaking, I hate them. I hate when I'm on them, I hate what they do to my body. I know, I complained until I finally saw Dr. S so I could get the things. But it doesn't take away the truth that I don't like them. I want to heal my body without having to go through all that drama. But, knowing what I went through before, I should take them. My concern is if I'm drinking green smoothies, will that be enough for the evil doxy? Or will I lose my delicious breakfast? According to phase one, the only grain I can eat is brown rice. Well, I'm not going to sweat that today. I'm glad that I'm getting my veggies and they taste good.
So, each day is a new day, right? I buy that. So today is the new day of my new mission. Green Smoothies.
Yes poppets, instead of trying new ways to eat veggies, and subconsciously sabotaging them by letting them rot in my fridge, I'm going to eat green smoothies for phase 1. Why green smoothies? Aren't the veggies for the smoothies still going to rot in my fridge? Not quite.
I've had green smoothies from time to time and I love it. It's the easiest GED way to eat your vegetables. And the vegetables that count, like kale, arugula, spinach, dandelion, etc. Not the starchy kind. Mind you, I can tolerate the starchy vegetables. Tolerate being the operative word. Every so often. This Lyme Disease Diet, there are lots of vegetables. And I tried phase 1. I really did. But it wasn't for me. Green smoothies are.
For one, the preparation is simple. For example, fruit, check. Kale, check. Purified water, check. Blend. Enjoy. And it's very filling. Just a green smoothie and eggs (cooked in ghee) is filling and there's little room for else except water. Just like you're supposed to.
And there's motivation. My weight.
Let me rewind to the beginning of August. Had the bad news and my stressed kicked into high gear. I barely ate. Which you would think would cause the weight to go down. Nope. Because I barely ate, my body held on to every single calorie for dear life. I didn't exercise either. So now it's September and I have a wedding to go to at the end of this month. I have a gorgeous vintage dress, I think I mentioned it earlier in my blog. And I want to wear it the way I'm supposed to, which means vintage shapewear. I went Googling and found that people who eat nothing but green smoothies and proper protein lose lots of weight. Add to this Callanetics, people look fabulous in weeks instead of months. It also helps that I found in my travels people do outstanding when they eat green smoothies while diagnosed with Lyme. The symptoms ease and practically disappear. My Lyme symptoms have been creeping back. They were so considerate during my time of need and stress that I didn't have nearly a fifth of what I had in July. But as soon as the stress levels started dropping off, the symptoms started creeping back. The neck pain, the exhaustion. The lack of sleep. Which by the way, doesn't help when you're already exhausted.
So, here I am, my green smoothie today is kale, banana, and blueberry pomegranate juice. Complemented with 2 farm fresh eggs cooked in ghee. It's very yummy. My one year old drank my smoothie and kept saying it was yummy and licking her mouth. Her breath smells like kale, which I find hilarious, until I realize that now drinking it, my breath smells like kale. Oh well.
Since it's Labor Day and I literally did not sleep last night, I think I'm going to indulge in a nap. I have a class online that I need to get cracking on and some cleaning to do before the girls come back from their grandmother's. But rest, rest seems to be big on my mental agenda. And it started talking after I drank the smoothie. Maybe the smoothie speaks health and wisdom as you drink it. If so, rock on.
Oh, and on the subject of meds, I'm debating taking them. Sounds nonsensical because I have a bacteria, so take an antibiotic. Frankly speaking, I hate them. I hate when I'm on them, I hate what they do to my body. I know, I complained until I finally saw Dr. S so I could get the things. But it doesn't take away the truth that I don't like them. I want to heal my body without having to go through all that drama. But, knowing what I went through before, I should take them. My concern is if I'm drinking green smoothies, will that be enough for the evil doxy? Or will I lose my delicious breakfast? According to phase one, the only grain I can eat is brown rice. Well, I'm not going to sweat that today. I'm glad that I'm getting my veggies and they taste good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)